i'm slipping into a low mood again...i can feel it coming...i've been on a bit of a high for the past few weeks as i've had exams so i'd been studying up to 12 hours a day, living on will power and caffeine...works for a while, but i feel like i'm about to crash now. i'm kinda stressed about track as i'd been training really hard for that too but performing really badly despite having done everything right. i know now it's b/c i'm anemic cuz i got a check-up from a sports physician, but still feel kinda useless all the same. and i'm bored cuz exams ended so i'm now on holidays, and even tho i'm working a bit, i'm used to being super-busy...and boredom is terrible for me as it only breeds depression....gosh, i feel like i'm about to go under and i wanna stop it, i so do, but i just feel completely and utterly exhausted. this can't be happening, i am not gonna get depressed YET AGAIN damnit, i'm meant to be better now!! and u know what else? all the methods i used to use to cope with stress and depression and life in general, i.e. self-harm and eating disorders, i can no longer bring myself to do such things to myself. i just can't do that sort of thing anymore...i've no longer got that raw burning pain in me. it's the best and worst thing at the same time.