I don't really ever think that it may not be real but I do convince myself that it isn't real... It never lasts that long though... anywhere from a few hours to a week.

I have found that it has happened more often ever since I moved away and got a house, just my kids and myself and our house became calm, happy and a safe place to be in. When I think it isn't real I start searching for the yelling, the anger and the abuse and when I can't find it because its all been removed now I set myself into the nothings real spin.

Knowing that I have to be in the 'real' world with my kids and be their mother I start panicking about getting back to my real kids. Sometimes hugging and talking with my kids can be enough for me to see they are real but not always

Last time I had a huge panic about it I was talking to my ex on the phone, telling him he wasn't real and that I needed to get back to my kids... He said something that has stuck with me ever since.

He said "I can assure you when I hang up this phone I don't just disappear, I have problems and if your really dreaming stop punishing me life is crap at the moment"

It didn't mean much straight away... but a few hours later it brought me out of it and I started laughing at the thought that I'd have enough power to effect someone else's life and make them appear and disappear at will.

Maybe it might help to find something that you can cling too and check upon to know if the world is real or not?