Yeah truly the main point is to be able to relax and be at peace with myself, enjoy the moment, and be a loving productive person.

Where can I sign up for that?

My counselor and I have been talking a lot about this approval thing I have. And since we're both Christians we have been talking about how God loves me and that's fine, but it doesn't make me feel less hurt when someone else doesn't like me.

He was telling me that I needed to take the eggs out of the basket of people that i'm always trying to please, and put them in the basket of God loves me, I'm a valuable person, and should just feel secure in myself.

I told him I'd be happy for him to just move those eggs for me right now and we'd be all set. :-)

This feeling that there is something terribly broken and MESSED UP about me, and that people that are nice to me are only being nice to me for a reason other than who I am, and I try to get the people that really just don't like me to be nice and like me. . . is the biggest part of my problem.

And I was telling him how wonderful it is online when you find someone who has the same problems or even hobbies (in a positive light) as you do, and you can just focus on common ground and leave the rest out. . . and that's why I'm so addicted to the internet (and probably why I want a diagnosis)

Again thank you. I'm feeling an enormous weight lifting from me just thinking this way. I've been terribly absorbed in this the last few days and I'm sure that energy could be much better spent on flopping down on the floor and playing "littlest pet shoppe" with my kids.