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Old Jun 18, 2013, 09:15 AM
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feralkittymom feralkittymom is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: yada
Posts: 4,415
I think past experience definitely plays a huge formative role. I also wonder if both the trust and fear aren't about the T at all, but rather (dis)trust and fear of oneself? There's a deep desire, perhaps, to have the T accept and hold that (dis)trust and fear, and so neutralize them, but no developmental experience of being successful doing so.

I never felt distrust or fear of my T, but I certainly experienced those feelings about myself. The way I got past it, or healed it, was exactly by allowing my T to take those feelings on, hold them, neutralize them, and by doing so, allow me to borrow his strength until I could feel powerful enough myself. I could have the developmental experiences I'd missed in childhood. But the fear was more a feeling of "what if I can't follow through? If I fail despite T's competence and empathy, what else is there?"
Thanks for this!
Asiablue, Freewilled