> Yeah truly the main point is to be able to relax and be at peace with myself, enjoy the moment, and be a loving productive person.

Awesome! Your t should be able to help you out with relaxation techniques... I've found mindfulness meditation to be about perfect for fostering those kinds of things (they are all part of who I want to be as well)

:-)

Sounds like you had a hard time of it as a child. That your parents were focused on themselves and their own hurts and you most probably didn't get the attention and acceptance that is optimal for a developing child. I think that the acceptance and self love and self confidence thing develops because our parents accept and love and have confidence in us. Then we internalise their conception of us. But for those of us (I think there are lots of us out there) we didn't get the care and attention we needed as kids. And so we didn't internalise this wonderful positive conception of ourselves. Instead... Sometimes parents can say hurtful things or disregard their kids needs and stuff and so sometimes we internalise this hurtful critic or something like that.

Having a conception of God as someone who loves and cares for you should help... But having a therapist as someone who gives you care and attention and who has confidence and faith in you should help you too. You get to see him caring for you and as you start to internalise that...

I think sometimes that that is how therapy helps. When people had unhappy childhoods and stuff...

Sometimes the problem is that we weren't nurtured adequately as children.

And that manifests in a variety of symptoms... And how to categorise / classify them...

But of course I'm picking something and running with it to even suggest this... It is just that I think that my bad feelings... My panic and upset and distress and what it is that is really holding me back.... Is feelings like guilt and shame and inadequacy and that I must be unloveable because... I didn't get adequately nurtured because my parents were focused on their own problems...