So many good points being made here.

Mapleton- "therapy is about overwhelming the prior experience with a newer more healthy experience. Make sense? yes, this makes perfect sense and i think this is what i'm seeking from therapy, i'm just unsure if i'll get what i'm looking for and maybe that's what's bringing up the trust issue.



Monalisasmile- I think you underestimate the power a therapist can have over us if they reject us but of course we have to give them that power in the first place. i don't underestimate the power a therapist has, but the point for me is that they only have that power because of our issues with attachment and abuse/neglect etc if we didn't have those spaces in our development then a therapist couldn't hold such power or risk.

Feralkittymom- There's a deep desire, perhaps, to have the T accept and hold that (dis)trust and fear, and so neutralize them, but no developmental experience of being successful doing so. omg, exactly, we've had no success in life at being successful in neutralizing them, this gives me food for thought.

Boredporcupine- "we should be careful and not trust too much, because we can't survive on our own yet!" Yet even years later as an adult they can still be in there, running on autopilot..." yes this is definitely happening too, that's the panicked voice or our inner child being activated at the perceived threat.