Oh boy...
There are two things that I think you should look into that might help you understand what's going on in your relationship.
One:
Gaslighting - Ask.com Encyclopedia
Gaslighting is a form of mental abuse when the abuser attempts to control the other by making them think they are crazy (which increases your dependence on him)
and also...
google police officers and sociopathic tenancies. There is alot of research that has been done about certain prefessions that tend to attract sociopaths, because a position of authority gives them an outlet for their sociopathic behaviors.
I hope this helps you.
Also...if he is anything like my bf, he will refuse to read any of that, but if you think he might, it may help to e-mail him the links or approach him when he is in the right type of mood and just ask him to look at it and consider that he may also be part of the problem, obviously without sounding like you are placing all the blame on him because that will just make him defensive.