****trigger warning****

While I was cutting fruit this came up (thinking of the Nigella Lawson choking thing)

Dear T,

One time, I badly emotionally hurt a close friend, who, understandably felt angry. It got heated, although not because I was pushing it to be. They started to strangle me. That's not the thing I think of though...

I didn't try to stop them. I fought the instinct to prevent it and to protect myself. I wondered what it would be like for everything to go black.

I might be able to tell this to you, T... but you're going to need to help me first.

(the friend I'm sure has guilt and suffers about this moment)