After the initial shock that my then bf's ex was pregnant, I got over it. The ex didnt like me at first (claimed I stole her bf) but I sat her down and it went so well I named their daughter...

Not long after I discovered I was pregnant too, the girls are not even a yr apart in age. I was 19 at the time and logic dictated that for the kids to be healthy, and happy we all have to be ok with eachother. Whether we bloody like it or not!

His eldest daughter was an extention of him, so that just made her all the more easier to love, I've never had a problem past accepting "she's really here".

Fast forward nearly 10yrs, neither of the girls or us mothers give the "dad" the time of day because he sucks at being one. We 4 hardly see eachother now, as they moved away, but when we do, we get along just fine. Even though they don't see much of eachother these days, our girls know they are sisters, they used to have sleep-overs, spend holidays and birthdays with eachothers families, had a real sister relationship before the firstborn's mom got married and moved. I'm responsible for the fact that they got to know and love eachother, and that makes me damn proud!

I'm not saying befriend the ex, its not always possible. What I am saying is that you "adults" and I use the term loosely here, should understand that the child comes first. Children automatically come first. If that is not your mindset, no matter who's womb the child exited from, then parenting is not for you. That is fact.

If I could sit down at such a tender age and make enemies see reason for the sake of the kids involved then I see no reason why grownass ppl cant do the same. And yes, enemies, she didn't just spend all his money, there was arguing, physical confrontations (her to me) gossip spreading, it was an UGLY situation in the beginning. But the 3 of us managed it, because we put the children first, and none of us were even 20 yrs old yet.

If you guys cant put junior and future sibling first, then by all means part ways peacefully now, because if you stay, that is your choice to be miserable, but the kids don't have any kind of say in whether or not you guys end up making their lives miserable.

Twice a year is pathetic by the way, people treat their dogs better.

I have no problem dating a man with kids, I have 1 too, but I would never date a man who saw his kid twice a year, its like the childs novelty wears off or something.

And yes, he doesn't want the child, then why not just stick to being a paycheque instead of punishing the poor boy with 2 forced visits to save face? Your bf seems to be getting away with part-time parenting, the child deserves better.