Okay so...

Upon further reflection I think that there is a significant difference between conceiving of them as 'voices' and conceiving of them as 'parts'. I understood already that there was a significant difference between conceiving of them as 'persons' or 'selves' or 'personalities' on the one hand, or conceiving of them as 'voices' or 'parts' on the other... The latter distinction is the notion that they aren't seperate people even though it might feel like they are they aren't. The former distinction... Isn't about being careful not to conceive of them as seperate *people* it is about owning them as parts of *me* rather than, say, voices, that can be mere 'noise in the channel' on some conceptualisations.

I guess conceiving of them as 'voices' kind of promotes the applicability of strategies such as ignoring them, distracting from them, etc. Conceiving of them as parts of me kind of promotes... Listening to them and crap like that :-(

I guess I sort of knew / got that... But not really. I'm careful to talk about voices and them / me or us / me or whatever... But it is a bit of a jump to really conceiving of them consistently in that way...

About the death thing. Amazing how I can want them to GO AWAY so much... But then I hear this %#@&#! crying inside because a part is scared she is going to die and that getting better means she has to die and that t2 is going to try and kill her... I want to kill her.

:-(

Mostly.

:-(

I just want them to go away. Voices. I just want the voices to stop. Take anti-psychotics and make the voices stop. Only... That stragegy isn't working.

And when they get scared... I miss time and find I've done crazy %#@&#!. I guess this is the way forward...

They scare me because of the things they do when I miss time. Does getting better mean... I have to learn to like what they do and accept that they do that kind of stuff and accepting them means that I'll come to like that kind of stuff so I do it with full awareness? I don't want that to happen. I JUST WANT THE CRAZY %#@&#! TO STOP

:-(