okat so my session today was all about the drama with all the therapist in my life. we talked about my ex-t today, which was ok.. because I do not really feel as bothered about it anymore.
some stuff was just unbelievable that my ex-t did, then I told her that my ex-t sent me a message a fb and said she wanted to message me back as a person not as a therapist.. my new t says don't you think it was past that point already?? and I thought about and she says you already knew way to much about her from the beginning... and I said i know, and I never ask her to share those things. and I looked at her and said i have been seeing you for a while and never once asked you any personal questions.. she says that's not what you here for.. I said exactly.. coming to the conclusion that my ex-t was never my therapist from the start it was too personal between us. then we got on the attachment thing, coming out about my own mom, and how attraction comes from attachment... and the reason i was so attached to my last t was because she looked a lot like my own mother. and i somewhere along my child hood emotionally deatached from my own mother... and that's what we are going to focus on when i go back...
i told her i feel cold towards everyone.. there was some laughs today.. but i feel like really this dang session was pretty pointless.. it was not solving my past and figuring out why all this is happening. jeeze and this time it couldn't of been based on my feelings, it had to be my memory that was triggered in session at some point.. have not even been thiking of ex-t

i really wish my therapist would re-direct me onto focusing on my childhood right now everytime my mind slips to this or something in the now... i just go on and on with memories i have of her.. and they stand in my mind very vividly... go away ex-t leave my mind and never come back!!!! you r interfearing with what i want to be doing and its not you. maybe talking about her is something i am doing to avoid my past. i just really felt like i wasted my time today. .