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Old Jun 18, 2013, 04:12 PM
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hopeful34 hopeful34 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by idontknowme427 View Post
Me: 25 (26 in April). Married to youth minister for 5 years. Have 2 year old daughter. Babysit a 3 year old boy in home full-time. I would call myself a sex-addict-ish.

First some background. My first kiss wasn't until I was 16. After that, I wanted more and more. But on the outside, I was the "goody-good" kind of girl. Great grades, manners, "perfect" Christian girl, etc. But I loved the thrill of being a "rebel" and messing around with guys I barely knew. Lost virginity at 18 with an ex-boyfriend for "closure" as he said. lol. Only had sex with 1 other guy before marriage. He was my "California" boyfriend. Made 2 trips out to see him, before I broke it off. At the same time, I was living the good, Christian girl life and interning at my church. The guy intern is who I ended up falling in love with and marrying.

The week before he proposed, I was vacationing in Cancun, getting drunk, and messed around with a hot guy from Australia. My excuse was getting in my fun while I can.

During marriage, I have kept an ongoing relationship with a guy I messed around with in high school. I was a senior and he was a freshman, so I always called him "My Freshman." We, to this day, haven't actually been together, but we occasionally text, email, and/or Skype with each other, trading pictures & videos. We have planned getting together several times, but one of us always backs out. I tell him he using me for free porn and he says I'm using him and just being a big tease to him, but we still continue with the fun.

I have also traded pics through email with a few more guys.

I did go through with it once with a guy friend. He and I were good friends in high school and best friends in college. After marriage, I stopped talking to him since my husband was jealous. But then, I secretly started talking to him, all non-sexual at first. About 3 years into marriage, I was in my hometown and texted him. We hung out at my friends, but when we left, we went to his apartment. We fooled around for awhile, but I wasn't able to go all the way through with it.

I have tried a few different websites trying to find a girl to mess around with. I've always wanted to be with another girl, but I always chicken out. My best friend in high school was bi, but didn't tell me until college, although I already knew. By the time, she told me, I was already married so she wouldn't mess around with me. We would flirt, but that's it.

All in all, I love to flirt and love the potential of an affair, but it's never really happened. I know it's wrong, but I still want it to happen, especially being with another girl. I love being a rebel: I live a "boring, good-girl" life in reality, but love the secret sexy other life of mine. Oh, and my husband is lousy in bed.

(I also have bipolar, so maybe that's a cause too?)
Seeing a therapist may be a good idea. Please do something before you hurt your husband. Like I always say, if a person is going to act single, then they should be single...Your husband may not know of whats going on, such as the emailing and exchanging pictures with the other guy. But believe me, everything usually always comes out. Somehow, some way... I know how it feels to have a partner have an online relationship or whatever you prefer to call it. It hurts