Is your son's father paying you child support? He should be and it should be a fairly good amount seeing how he can afford it. That being said, you didn't go into much detail about why your grieving and bitter. Is it because your son's father and you didn't end up together or is it because you are raising your son alone and you didn't expect to. You do have a right to your feelings and no it doesn't make you selfish or a bad mother. I am not a mother and its somewhat by choice because I know my BF would not be responsible and I'm not in the position to really provide for and take care of a child. I would have liked to have a child if the circumstances were different. Anyway, not to get off the subject of you, don't beat yourself up. All parent's get stressed out and angry sometimes at what is involved in being a parent and having someone depend on you. That is a big responsibility. I don't judge people, because I know I don't want people judging me for the way I feel about certain things. So I hope this helped you some.

Take Care.