Thank you so much for replying, and I appreciate everything you've said, and feel for what your going through also....for a lil more info on my situation my now ex BF had an affair last year with his ex of 8yrs ago when she contacted him that he had a daughter, he got caught up in a mess, and she told him she got pregnant again, all the while he was trying to get me back...his ex caused such a mess that long story short she ended it with him by telling him the daughter isn't his, and the babies dead so its sorted (her words exactly) last year in august....anyway 2wks ago she contacted my BF again, and he is willing to go through the same mess again thinking that I can emotionally handle that, on the 20th of june I have to go to the hospital to wear a holter heart monitor for 24hrs to check on my heart, My BF wants me to use that 24hrs to find him a lawyer for his paternity test...if I was stronger emotionally, mentally I would without any problems, but that situation with that women causes me anxiety, stress and triggers...he doesn't understand that, I tried to approach him and calmly explain why I couldn't help him out and it escalated...I think i'm doing the right thing? I think i'm right to turn down helping his situation if its unhealthy for me?

I understand how you need to get rid of negative people in your life, as I do the same, unfortunately I feel that my BF welcomes that negativity back into our lives..i understand he needs to find out the truth if he does or doesn't have a daughter, but I can-not be a part of it