I have played banjo for a bluegrass band for 10 years... but last month I got paranoid and thought she was paying us wrong. I found out later she was justified in her method, but I was humiliated and embarrassed so I quit.

Last week a guy around Chicago asked me to play banjo for a good amount of money. I was scared, afraid I wouldn't be able to do it physically. So I turned it down.

Finally, I turned down teaching banjo lessons to a 13 year old.

I don't know what's going on. Usually I'd go for it anyway, despite the fear. I'm a state champion banjo player many times over, and have played in Europe and all over Canada and the US before I crashed and got schizoaffective 14 years ago. All my mental and physical confidence have left me.

Just had to vent this out!