HI, thanks for all replys.

I've been with this t for just over 2 yrs. At times I feel that its not allowed to "use" my t in a soothing way. Not from her point off view, but from mine. Just the fact that I still need her so much sets me of being very self critical.

I am an adult adoptee among other things so find separation anxiety a big struggle. I just can't get past the "trusting" enought in myself to have the confidence that she isn't going to go away if I allow myelf to use her until I am grown enought myself.