((((candybear))))) I am speaking as a man,but my partner who i was with for seven years had to put her child into care at the age of 12 because he was violent ,aggresive and pshycotic,he was not my natural son but i helped bring him up for 6 years.His natural fathe rwho allways had contact tried to take him but it seemed his behaviour got worse,we neveer had the support from social services and doctors were pretty useless so when it came to my partner being attacked by him with a rock that was the final straw we just couldnt cope anymore and the descision was made.there is a lot more to this story but ti keep it short i will just say this that even for me it was traumatic but for my partner it was even more so.especialy as you say an mothers day and the kids birthday.so yes you have a perfect right to you grief it is only natural.I dont know weather this post is entirely relavant i have a tendency to waffle on a bit.So i hope you ok soon.