Quote:
Originally Posted by GenCat
Crying is one of my problems, not that I can't stop crying, but I don't want to cry/ I am afraid to cry in front of my T.
Today a very emotional subject came up, and I knew I was going to cry. I have this strange problem where I smile when I am feeling an emotion other than happiness. So I started tearing up and then I smiled, laughed at myself and said Im not going to cry. 
My T says I need to cry and need not to be afraid.  She put a box of tissues beside of me, but I didn't use them. I noticed when I got teary eyed my Ts personality changed like she was going through what I was going through, her voice changed to a soft comforting voice, and she just watched me with a face full of empathy.
I didn't really cry, but I just started to and that was the end of it. I don't know why I am afraid of crying in front of her, or people for that matter. Just another unsolved problem of mine we have not really addressed.  |
You're not alone. I've never cried once in all of my years of therapy, and that's many years! I have told her that I feel like crying, and the tears are there, but they're unshed. I even wrote her a poem about my unshed tears. I don't cry with other people either. I think it has to do with being shy and inhibited my whole life, and not being able to let people see what I'm feeling. It may have to do with shame about my body. Does any of that ring true for you too?
Did you cry when you were a child, or were you told not to cry, or punished for crying? That could be a factor too. Sometimes my T will ask me what the tears would be saying if they did come out. I like when she asks that. It sounds like your T is compassionate and will be nice to you whether you cry or not. You can't force yourself to cry. One of my former Ts told me that I don't have to cry for therapy to be effective. If you find out the secret to being able to cry, let me know!
One more question. Do you cry after therapy when you're alone? Sometimes I can barely make it out the door and I'm crying, but the tears wait until I'm safely out of the office.