I hope that you're getting some professional help to get you through this time of your life, MdngtRain! You certainly can't expect to go on like this until you suddenly begin to feel better.

We usually need to talk with a neutral party, that seems to care about us (as human beings) and can relate to us. Talking with that person a few times, to gain a better perspective towards our lives, sometimes takes a few weeks. I hope that you DO have a T, whom you see regularly. Perhaps you can get in to see them a little more often, to help you get through this rough patch?

Gentle hugs and best wishes to you!