I love my dreams they are always peaceful places. When I enter them sometimes I can't get back out without causing an accidental death or disappearance to that dreamed person. I am unsure why I make them die when I don't want to leave the place, the hit of their death often causes grieving/tears and feelings of loss to my real self for a couple of days before returning back to my normal numb mode... Most of the time they are short like a daydream or a wish of what if or something.

Most of the time I dream of being a child and having a real mother usually cooking cakes together and stuff. I'm never me in those dreams and in the dreams normally my aunt is my mother but my father is still my father but he is never seen, its kinda just known. In my dreams I was never hit, never emotionally torn apart and nobody ever put themselves on top of me and the house was clean with fresh food and rubbish and food scraps in the bin. I'd be smiling, happy and well balanced... Like the perfect life. The mother (who would be my aunt in real world) loved, protected and cared for me and I'd do thing right or if they were wrong it wasn't an issue... Oh and I'm always a single child in these dreams and for some reason that is a big point in each dream... My mother said that I started saying lies that she put down to dreams at least a year or more before any of my siblings were born, maybe that's why I don't know (might ask psychologist about that during my next appointment )

Most of the time can hear the echo of the real world but its like all that yelling isn't at me, kinda like hearing neighbours having a domestic, its like the voices are muffled (like through walls) and it has nothing to do with you personally everything bounces off and nothing is absorbed, its like not acknowledging your real name nor person... Sometimes will act out the jobs needed in the real world but picture it in a totally different setting and it feels like your in the wrong room of the house doing that action within the dream and in the real world at the same time.

In my dreams I have emotions unlike my real self that is nearly always numb.

When I have the dreams that I am myself... well to be honest I'm not completely sure if those one's are dreams or if they are thinking I'm doing a really good blocked out reality dream... Not sure I'd ever really know for sure... But in those dreams, I normally believe that my real self is in a hospital bed in a coma and I'm dreaming the world (kinda like an entertainment). When like that its kinda dangerous because I start thinking that if I died I'd wake up in the hospital and a lot of what if I did that questions start going through my head eg: Believing I'd wake up in the hospital I start thinking about wonder what it would feel like to crash the car into that tree and actually believe that I will just wake up in reality... Kinda thoughts like, its a dream I can do anything and nobody would ever get hurt or even know about it kinda situation... Feels like I can experience the things in life I normally wouldn't and only I would know. (as such there is nothing in our house that can give me access to trying stuff like that in a dream for safety reasons)

It's very hard to explain the dreams and sometimes I think I have dreams that I don't remember as I'd turn up in different parts of the house or suddenly find myself half way through a smoke when I wasn't in that area... Those times also have darkness, like can't see for a few seconds, everything is just pitch black just before finding myself in a different place. I am unaware of how much time has past or anything, just very disorinated, dizzy and very light headed for a while... But ever since we changed our living environment that doesn't happen very often anymore... It used to be at least once a day thing. I even asked one of my doctors to check to see if I was having automated seizures because the way I would feel afterwards are the same symptoms and signs, apparently I wasn't though. To cope with this, I have alarms go off for everything that needs to be done at a certain time of day eg: picking up the kids from school, cooking dinner etc... seems to work, always seem to get those things done that have alarms (my neighbours must hate me, loud alarms going off all day)

Sorry I am not sure how to actually explain what they are like I hope that this might give an idea though, maybe, hopefully

Moon