(I realize that I feel like a bit of a broken record. I'm going to mention that I have a lot of issues here.. but I don't feel sorry for myself.. actually hopeful for the first time in decades, so you shouldn't feel badly either. tx)

If you asked me a month ago, I would have resisted the idea of even having feelings, let alone talking about them. If there were a few tears or a bit of frustration, I would just explain it away as nothing.

Since recently its been utterly the other way. I can't stop thinking about them, and want to talk about them all the time, except its painful and I can't look the T in the eye. At all.

Its mostly traumatic revelation; just a constant barrage of self-criticism from the ADHD/OCD symptoms over the years, kicked off by a tougher than average childhood, then lately some suggestion that I may be losing my only support network.

I have no problem expressing something, although having 3 wandering thoughts about that feeling then capturing one and trying to juggle the others is no fun-- so I interrupt if I feel like I could lose them.

I just hope that I don't manage to somehow mess up this therapeutic relationship, because its showing some promise... and by that, I shouldn't try to out-think the process neurotically and frustrate T.