Swimmy
That pain fed so unbearable right now, but the good thing is that it gets better, it takes a while but it does get easier.
As strange as it may sound but rainbow is right you have to remember to forget, grieving is the most difficult thing to do. I still have dreams every week about my ex and ex t and they hurt a lot but I know I hav to have them because my mind is still processing the loss.
It's nice that your new t is asking about old t, maybe she can bring parts of what you liked about her into your therapy. Maybe she can try make it fun like ex t did.
I know she will never be the same but you might grow to like her