As I was writing my check at the end of the session I asked T what she would charge a client without insurance. She said something about sliding scale. I said okay but what is your fee. She said it depends. So I said what if I had a million dollars? She laughed and said, I'd probably charge you $100.

So I wrote a check for $125 and put a note in the subject line saying "weekend & copay 6/18" I left right after I gave her the check so I'm not certain she noticed it but I imagine that she looked at it. I also called her about scheduling my next appointment and she didn't say anything about it. I suppose I will know for sure if she will comment on the extra payment when I see her tomorrow.

Kind of odd but I sort of want her to say "I wasn't planning on charging you, you don't have to pay" and I want to insist on paying for her time and the services she provides. I think it will also make me feel less guilty and needy when I leave her messages (like I did this morning) because I will have compensated her for the time she takes to listen to the message.

And if she says nothing at all. It will drive me INSANE. WTF is wrong with me?