It's not going to be any easier for you than for him. So, if you want off the roller coaster, try to see his manipulative behavior as more of the roller coaster you don't want and "harden" your heart a little bit against his theatrics. Stop the he said/she said conversations, ignore his blaming by just agreeing with whatever he said ("It's your fault" -- just give an affirmative "grunt" -- so what? You want a divorce and that's your "fault" too) You're allowed to want what you want and it sounds like you want a less roller coaster life and that's "it" plain and simple. He's a grown man, has therapists, etc. His problems are his problems, you have your own to deal with?