
Jun 19, 2013, 11:27 AM
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Member Since: Feb 2013
Location: England
Posts: 4,084
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skysblue
Some excerpts from a fascinating book I'm reading which offers an exercise to consider about our tendency to interrupt:
"Step One - simply notice when you interrupt. Don't stop your interrupting, just notice it.
"Step Two -as you interrupt, silently say this to yourself: 'I'm not letting you fnished your sentence because ________' (and fill in the blank). This will hardly slow you down at all. Just watch, and let the blank fill itself with what you usually hide from yourself in the blur of conversation.
Here are some examples of what various people have discovered:
"I'm not letting you finish your sentence because
.... I already know where you're going, and I have something more clever to say.
....I might forget what I have to say and lose this great opportunity to impress you.
....I already know where you're going, and I want to avoid that territory.
....you aren't interesting enough to distract me from my scary thoughts.
...you're having such a hard time expressing yourself. I'm going to rescue you by saying it better.
...interrupting you is a natural expression of my enthusiasm.
"When you've done this exercise enough times to recognize the top three thoughts that lead you to interrupt, ask yourself if they're true. "[my note - I won't continue here with the advice given]
There is a fascinating exercise called the 'lunch date'
"Make a lunch date with two or more lively friends. When you meet, after your usual greetings, let your friends do all the talking. Let yourself get totally involved with the conversation, but without joining in except to nod, smile, or look concerned when appropriate.
"If they ask you a question, answer briefly. During the conversation, you might say an occasional, 'I hear you', or 'You could be right'. Nothing more.
"Notice the thoughts that would normally cause you to say something. Do you, or does the conversation, seem to suffer when you listen instead of talk?
"Be aware of the contribution you make just by listening. As you leave, make no mention of, or apology for your quiet behavior (did anyone even notice?) and make a date to meet again.
"And experiment in listening is to spend a day listening to people. Just let their words in without superimposing your own thoughts.
"It's amazing to hear what gifts come out of people's mouths when you allow them to complete their thoughts without interruption."
The book is written by Byron Katie and is titled, "I Need Your Love - Is That True? How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead"
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Wow. Thanks for posting this, it's fantastic.
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