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Jun 19, 2013, 11:42 AM
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Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 5,518
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(((jkbob)))
My ex-husband is a wonderful person too. He was just a lousy husband, I became a lousy wife, and together our lives were miserable. As much as I loved him back then, I'm oh so thankful I'm not still married to him. You couldn't PAY me to be married to him - he's someone else's problem now. He probably feels the same way, lol. On a human level, we get along great - but it's because I no longer consider him a husband, a lover, or a friend....out of respect for my husband and his wife.
As much as it hurt me, I never badmouthed my ex to my son because our relationships were different. He had a right to love or not love his father without any interference from me. My son built up some resentment of his own, but the two of them managed to work things out at a time when my son needed him most. My ex never provided financial or emotional support back then, but I'm grateful for the connection they have now.
I'm glad you're placing your children first in this, and I'm glad you're seeing a therapist. Whether you like it or not, you and your husband are role models for your girls. Would your husband want his girls to seek out a man who will abuse, disrespect, and break their hearts? If you find another husband, would he be okay with them calling another man "daddy?" If he loves his girls, he can start by modeling how a good man is supposed to treat his beloved wife. Maybe then you can show them how a good woman is supposed to treat her beloved husband. If the marriage does not work out, you both can show them how to be civil with each other, despite the storms - all the while placing them first.
My heart goes out to you and your family.....good luck. 
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