Hi Wanting,
I'm new here, so please forgive me if I misunderstand your post. But if I read it correctly, then I think you are on the right track.

Whatever label you choose to put on yourself, is irrelevant, in some ways. The important thing is that you have seen that you are doing something you don't want to do, and becoming a person who you don't want to be. I think that in itself is a major turning point.

The crucial part is to now decide what you are going to do about it.

You use the phrase "failed day at sobriety," so I guess you have some knowledge of all the places you can go for help and support. But if not, I'm sure myself, or someone on the site, will happily point you in the right direction.

Best of luck to you pal, I hope you find your way.

Martyn