Nope. I am not taking charge or being the aggressive one. I I do not want to have sex, I am trying to like it. The T says there is no reward, (no O ) so there is not much to like. I dissociate and try to stay present w/ no luck. It is frustrating to me to have thing to start to be pleasant and once my brain realizes what is happening then It turns off. I can't stop it and turn it back on, or change the direction of my thinking.

So parts of me are not broken. O is achievable alone. But not w/ others around and certinly not w/ help from my H.