With both the woman and your friend, you have both some friendly moments and some strife. I am guessing there is some part of you, some part of your inner world that you have a difficult relationship with.

Both your crush as he shows up in your dreams, and your friend in real life, are displaying some coldness toward you.

You wrote just now "it takes time," which makes me think of the hourglass. Maybe you are telling yourself that healing takes time.

In my opinion you are over your crush the real-life guy, but in your dreams he is a symbol for a part of you that you have a similar relationship with. You get a certain quality of attention from this part of you (symbolized by the creepy stares, or by the idea he is the only one in a crowd who notices you).

In my dreams, sometimes my first girlfriend from 23 years ago appears. I haven't spoken with her in 21 years but she still shows up. I think she symbolizes some part of me.