it reminds me of my Granny who was drop-dead gorgeous when young. She was a successful operating room nurse and the life of the party socially. Something went very wrong at some point in her mid to late 30's. Same with me. Same with my mom. Now I look entirely different. It's like the terror in my mind has manifested in my appearance. No matter how dolled up I get, there seems to be an indelible expression/look about me that says, " nuts. rough life. ridden hard and put away wet."