There'll pay for anything I can't pay for either way...I just want to get away from them. My dad argues with me or gives me conflicting information that just stresses me out. He says things that feed my paranoia or makes me feel guilty about everything I enjoy and then gets mad at me when I have a negative attitude and that I got a lot of it from HIM. My days are now about how to avoid him as he works at home now. So I go outside and have to wait to eat because I don't want to be around him etc. etc.

I think me having a least a part-time job will keep me getting up in the morning...I have really bad depression (that my parents don't know and/or care about) and I have little energy, self-esteem, and motivation in general. If I don't have something to get out of bed in the morning on a regular basis, I won't.

What's so wrong with me getting a job so I can make my own money until the other things I'm interested in start making money (playing in bands, publishing music etc.)? I feel really really guilty spending someone else's money and honestly, it effects my quality of life and self-esteem. I could buy stuff that I want (and they wouldn't approve of) because it's my own money. And I would start to feel less embarrassed about not having a job at my age (mid-20's) when I don't have a reason not to now since I'm out of school.

I just hate being made to feel guilty about doing what I like...