Hi my friend ~ Obviously you're numb. And you need therapy. Sometimes we become numb because we're protecting ourselves from pain. So we stuff our emotions to the point where we can't feel anything! And that's not healthy!

You need therapy to find out what exactly is the "pain" that you're escaping from. There's probably more than one "thing" that you're escaping from and the therapist can help you discover what these things are. Yes, it can be painful in the discovery process, but once it's over you'll feel a sense of freedom that you've never felt before! It's like having a load lifted from your shoulders!

I wish you ALL the best, my friend. Please take care of yourself and God bless. Gentle hugs, Lee