Hello I'm new here and I desperately need help. My husband and I have been married for nearly a year now. Before we were married he cheated on me and came clean, with a promise to be faithful from that point on. He has changed a lot and has done nothing since for which I would have any reason to be suspicious. But I cannot get over the trauma. I had trusted him implicitely, and now I doubt all of my feelings and fly of the handle about everything, accusing him etc. Then a couple of months into our marriage I went home to see my family and when I was there I slept with my ex. I told my husband immediately, but now he doesn't trust me either, and even though I have done nothing to suggest that I would ever cheat on him again - and I have no desire to do so - we are now caught in a viscious circle of fights, recriminations, and accusations. I feel angry with him because I would never have cheated on him if he'd never done it to me in the first place (I know that it's childish but I felt so broken, and I wanted to hurt him. I wanted for him to have the gut-wrenching feeling, cold sweats and trouble breathing that I experience whenever he's five minutes late home from work.)
How do we pull ourselves out of this problem? The thing is that we both love each other very much, but we have a lot of problems in our relationship - this isn't the only one.