Quote:
Originally Posted by critterlady
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I know, right?
The other day I arrived five minutes before my T session and my T came out of the room and said he was just going to the bathroom. And I jokingly told him he was meant to just exist in the therapy room, like teachers just exist in school classrooms.
Quote:
Originally Posted by almostthere
I never think about my T, he/she, would look like as they live their personal lives. Remember, that the core reason you r in therapy is that u have issues which pose a challenge in dealing with issues that hold u back from enjoying your life to the fullest. Your T is there to help u but if u start to think about how he, or she, lives their life than u are not thinking about the reason u went there in the first place. U r there to get better and u have to b mindful of that and have to concentrate on your recovery.
Just think about it....if u were to ask your T about how he, or she, spends their time at home when alone, how do do think he, or she, would react?? Who is the therapist here???, U, or the T???
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Thanks for your post almostthere, but I'll have to respectfully disagree. First off, there's a big difference between asking my T about what he actually does in his personal life, and imagining what I like to think he does, in my head, according to my fantasy of what he is like. That's all me.
A while ago, I read an article or a blog post or something about a therapy group where each group member described their own, imagined version of what the T did outside of the group, what his home was like, etc - all completely different. The point being that part of being in therapy involves constructing an image of your T, because you see them for an hour a week or whatever, but they become an important part of your life and you get attached to them.
For what it's worth, the issues I have include attachment problems, caused by early trauma, and major trust issues. As my T puts it, I need someone to trust but I don't have a template for that. Learning about who my T is, and how he lives his life, is hugely important because I'm forming an image of him as someone I can trust.
The more I do that, the better I am at recognising transference (I used to experience my T shouting at me or being horrible and have gradually learned that it's not what's really happening) and also the better I am at holding onto the image of the good-enough therapist - so, when something upsets me, I don't freak out and lose that image like I did at the beginning.
Who he is matters a lot. He isn't just a stuffed toy who sits in the room while I talk. He's not a blank screen. He's an actual person, with a personality. We have talked about who he is - because sometimes I mishear or misremember what he says, and he says it's okay if I kind of make up some things he's said in my head, so long as they're consistent with who he is as a person.
If I ask him about how he spends his time at home, one or both of the following things will happen: either he'll answer (like when I asked him if he watches Doctor Who) or he'll be interested in why I'm asking.
If I told my T how I imagine him at home, I suspect he would just be really interested in why I imagined that, how I felt when I imagined it, why I was asking, and how I imagined I might feel if he answered. As to concentrating on my recovery, I don't really know how to, yet. My T says he'll handle the process and I just need to keep on turning up.