See, it may be just me…but, I have never understood how a -slight- [some insult framed as humor] was ever joking. Perhaps there is something faulty in my thinking. But, I do not lay insult in jest. Therefore I do not understand it as something other than passive-aggression. Perhaps this is a flaw of mine, I am too "sensitive" or some such thing.

So, when you say that " We started laughing and I said "that's alright, baby, there's nothing wrong with being a little slow" I find my response being, "Huh, a little slow?" You then label his response as an "angry fit in order to redeem himself" Redeem himself from what exactly?

I fear I am confused…since, after all you went on to state his history to be "not physically aggressive, he never calls names, or insults ", "Is always hugging, kissing, cuddling" you. "No doubt in your mind he loves you and cares about you"

I dunno, perhaps you need some further opinions, but from what I am reading, I can't see it. I see a reverse actually.