I just...I want to be off meds. I know that this is a dangerous statement but I wonder sometimes if they maybe just make things worse. Maybe not all of them but, jeez, I take a s---load of meds. Too many. I feel like I'm at the point where, even if I tried to wean off the meds, my mind wouldn't be able to handle it.

I tried to, with my pdoc's permission, cut my dose of Geodon in half and my anxiety went through the roof. Or at least I think it was from me cutting the Geodon that my anxiety spiked; I'm too afraid to try to cut it again to find out. But I just started taking Geodon in December. I feel like I was more...normal...before that. Yes I had very severe depression but the person who felt that way was more me. I do not feel like myself, and I haven't felt like me since I started taking Geodon.

Anyway. Sorry. This is all stuff I need to tell my pdoc. I don't think she really hears me when I talk anymore, though. She just sees me as a giant medicine cabinet.