today was ok, had a one day work job.. but still alone and lost in my head .only had a few moments of manic depression .. got home and help load my gdaughters stuff it was fun and her upbeat excitedness was fun .. I had to hide a couple times so she wouldn't see me start to break down, I am so happy she is moving on for her life.
all these years of raising my kids and grand kids ... now what ? I feel my life is completed.. I don't have no purpose to go on . this point was supposed to be our change our last years ... .. we live in such a bad way.. most people would be horrified by these conditions .. unimaginable to most ..
so the truth .. I have been planning self termination for months... but I read on another thread of a gals pain her depression her hurt her familys hurt of there lose to self termination... and it burnt in my soul , I feel her pain .... so after all I have read ,n talked n all the bs. ... she touched my soul and made me realize what it would do to the ones I love and care for so dearly...
thank you honeybee . you saved my loved ones from your pain .. cause I feel yours .. and could never do that now.. I send you love an hugs .. an thank-you for
the awakening .. I hope you find your peace and understanding....