Yeah, my T told me recently - "the rugged individualist thing, that's been well developed. We're not trying to further develop that." She's trying to get me to contact her more often, reach out to her before things get to the crisis point. It's scary and hard and I still agonize over contacting T every time I even think about it. However, I think her message is starting to sink in. I've been having a super rough week, and contacting T early in the week has helped keep things from spiraling in to a crisis.

Part of my problem this week was in reading too much in to an event and letting it push me in to a state of frantic-ness. I thought maybe I might be reacting a bit irrationally, and did contact T for a second opinion. She helped me see a more rational view of events and it helped to settle my emotions a bit. It was scary to contact her, but was a good choice in the end.

It's not an issue of boundaries or transference or T trying to take care of me. It's more that T is trying to show me that I can rely on other people for help, that it's okay to need help sometimes, and that sometimes it helps to get an outside view of a situation to clarify things.