Yes. So you are basically saying, yes, we are awesome!:-)
About entanglement, yes, they blame us for. I've thought deeply about this. One was a past relationship. And yes, it was a bad breakup. But hell no, I wasnt going to blame myself....after all, it was his fault....or was it.
Of course in the beginning ok yes. But once a person sees something wrong, they should go. I guess its similar to dv situations where the woman wants to change him. In my case, the story was more complicated than that, but once I realized that while yes, I was strung alœng, I also began to tread uncomfortable ground and not everything was good. But I stayed. Why? Well, the simplest answer I gave myself was "Sometimes its better not to ask why. Just go."
All it took was that. Now....I think about myself way more. If I see something bad about someone, I'll go into d/d mode. I'm not getting paid to be a therapist so I'm ñot going to figure someone out. Not my problem.
Maybe not their mistake if they didnt know at first (well not ours either) but once you know something is bad, you should go.