Hi CherryTree,
I can relate to what your going through, I feel the same way most days.
It sounds like you're having anxiety/panic attacks, are you under the care of a pdoc? If not, I suggest you see one.
There's no reason you have to go through this alone, there are many treatments for anxiety.
I've been dealing with anxiety/panic for many years and have learned how to manage it.
I see a pdoc and a therapist, I'm also on medication which helps a lot.
Please, seek help ASAP and keep us updated.