There’s some absolutely superb advice on this thread. Personally, I hate being interrupted, but I know I sometimes do it as well, so I see both sides.

So here are some thoughts for you.

What do you think about when someone else is talking? Are you listening to what they’re saying, or waiting for them to finish so you can talk? Are you really focusing on them, or just waiting your turn?

Why do you think you need to talk so urgently? Are you worried you won’t be heard, or that you’ll forget what you wanted to say? My H interrupts when a thought pops into his head and he thinks he'll forget it - I say tough, if it's that important he'll remember it again.

I just had an idea that might sound completely off-the-wall, but here goes: what about practising with a radio? Your challenge is to listen to the radio for a set time – start small, say 10 seconds, and work up – and then write down everything you can remember about what was said. What are they talking about? What kind of programme is it?

I think this might be a good way to practise mindful listening – after all, the radio’s not going to stop broadcasting because you tried to talk – and then you can get into good habits to use with people instead.

Also, start paying attention to yourself when you talk. Do you stop to think first? How loudly do you speak? What is your breathing like?

Incidentally, this thread is an example of the utter awesomeness of PC - so much good advice upthread

Some of the best advice I've ever read here.

Not really being comfortable with the back and forth of a conversation can be a way of life. Add in a touch of impulsiveness, and you'll jump in to a lot of conversations inappropriately.

i have a somewhat similar problem. except that i only interrupt my T because he gets stuck on one thought and keeps talking about it and reiterating his point over and over again...which i think we're ironing out slowly. i think he noticed the two times that i did it, because he's been pretty good about not going on about the same thing the last two sessions.

i mean, it's not that he doesn't give good advice, it's just that he tells stories to prove his points a lot and i get it the first time around...but he's not used to that, i don't think. he has said before he's never had anyone come in with prior knowledge of psychology or the counseling process. he usually gets people who have never gone to counseling before.

I think telling T that you're going to really work on interrupting is a good place to start. I think it's okay to ask your T to help you become aware of when you interrupt by stopping and saying "Rainbow, you're interrupting! Let me finish!" However, I also think it's important to try and catch yourself. I know it might seem hard, but you really do have the ability to stop yourself before you interrupt someone, or to start and say "oh, wait, I'm sorry, I'm interrupting you!" You might not be perfect at it, but you do have the ability to start monitoring yourself, both in T and in RL. Finally, I think it's important to work on not interrupting in your RL. Tell your H and your close friends that it's something you want to work on, and give them permission (IF they would like) to stop you when you interrupt them. This is something your H might even enjoy! You call tell them that you want to do a better job of listening to them and hearing what they want to share. What H or friend wouldn't like that? The reason I think it's important to work on this both in and out of T is because working on it in T is ONLY helpful IF it transfers to your RL. It's no skin off T's back if you interrupt her; she's only talking for your benefit, not her own. You're not trying to build a reciprocal relationship with T, or show her that you listen and care about her life. T is just there to help you develop these skills so that you can use them in your RL relationships. You should think about the interrupting things not as a "special" thing you are working on "with T" (which encourages the transference) but as a RL skill T can help you develop for your RL (which makes your therapy about therapy, and not about T).

I can totally understand why a T would tell a new client that it is okay to do most of the talking while the T just listens and "bears witness." My first few months with my T were certainly like that! It was my first time in T as an adult and it was the first time in my life I had the opportunity to talk and have someone just listen to me, with undivided attention. It was so healing, especially after a childhood without a mom or any other caretaker or adult supporter. However, after that initial flush of "getting things out," I think it's important that therapy really "begin" which means that we stop sharing about our week and that kind of "surface" level stuff and really do the nitty gritty work of therapy, which requires listening to T and having T guide us. Keeping up with the chatter of "I went here, I did this, my H or friend did this, etc" can really get in the way of us focusing on our deeper issues and the real reasons why we're in therapy. It also prevents us from learning what T's insights are and how they might be helpful to us. Often, T's see things in our behavior and thoughts that we don't see; learning what these are, digging deeper, and working on changing our behavior/thought-patterns are what therapy is all about. If we interrupt T, we'll miss this valuable information and help. Especially if we've spent a long time talking in therapy and aren't seeing a lot of behavior changes, it's possible that we're talking too much and using T as a confessional instead of listening to T and using her as a tool for change. It might not be as "fun" as having T just listen to us talk, but the real work happens when we let T guide us towards new insights, thoughts and behaviors.

This has a parallel in the classroom, too. Those students who sit in the front row, constantly raise their hand, and interrupt every few sentences don't tend to learn as much as those students who sit alertly, take notes, and only raise their hand after I've paused. They're too busy thinking about their next question-- or how that minor detail I mentioned relates to their grandma, their cat, or Harry Potter-- that they don't actually HEAR what I'm teaching. They spend so much time in their head that they aren't fully present in the classroom. But, come exam or paper time, they're dumbfounded as to why they aren't getting "As" since "they talk all the time in class!"

Yes and no. Old studies showed that very clearly, but modern research takes many more factors into account (culture, age, social status are just as important as gender.) It's actually completely meaningless to say that either gender interrupts more, because it can always be either true or not. And in any case it is always without fail pointless - even dangerous - to generalise what we think we know about one gender as a group, to one person. If an individual interrupts people a lot, it is not caused by their gender. It is possibly influenced by their gender, culture, family situation, age, native language and social status in combinqtion. But it is still a choice to do it or not.

This is one of those great examples of a T stating something about you that she knows others are experiencing or may be experiencing from you IRL. And your T is right; interrupting does make people feel like you don't want to hear what they have to say. I used to interrupt and talk a lot more than I listened. Over the years, I've made it the other way around. It started with self awareness and was helped by others pointing it out. On some level, you must be aware that your're doing this. I would go a step further than just asking T and suggest that you ask very close friends, family, and loved ones to point it out when you do it too...the ones who love you unconditionally. The more often you have people pointing these moments out, the better it will be for changing the habit.

Also, I think it's more effective to think of adding a new behavior rather than stopping a habit. For instance, say to yourself that you are going to be a better listener rather than saying you are going to stop interrupting. By actively listening more, you will stop thinking so much about what you are going to say/feel like you must say at that moment.