Had an interesting resolution to the problem. The previous loan modification person had told me that filing the quit claim to get me off the property was sufficient & I wouldn't have to sign the loan papers because they didn't look at my income for him to qualify for the loan modification. STBXH even filed the quit claim at the beginning of the year.......so I was off the property & there was no way I was going to sign the loan papers.

This new loan modification person called me on Monday after talking with my stbxh. She said initially that I had to have the legal separation or the divorce filed with the judge..........then in further reading of the information it stated that filing the quit claim was also sufficient so that I wouldn't have to sign the papers.....which is exactly what I had been told before.

But as normal, stbxh didn't send me a copy of the filed quit claim being filed, so I didn't have proof of it having actually been filed & I guess for some reason, it wasn't passed on in the package to this new person.....so she got him on the phone in a conference call. ...just hearing his voice was like fingernails on a chalkboard.

But he said he had filed it......& I said I need the copy for the divorce also.....so he needed to sent both the loan modification & me a copy.....I still haven't received a copy & all he has to do is email it.

I'm guessing he misplaced that just like the title paper to my car that I left there for him to use.....that has since quit running I have to arrange for the salvage so I can get the money for it.

Anyway....the quit claim ended up being sufficient so that I don't have to sign the loan modification papers & I don't have to push the divorce papers through before June 26.

However, I finally gave him the list of things I needed resolved & the way I plan on resolving them in the divorce & the need for any asset & liability information......still haven't heard & haven't received a copy of the quit claim through email.....but that's his typical way....he always agrees to everything then does nothing.....that's his typical passive aggressive way I put up with for 33 years.

Anxiety level is so high having to deal with him......I can't wait until he's completely OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!

Sadly, I have disliked him & his ways from before we got married, so I"m sure that's why our marriage was so miserable because I shouldn't have gotten married to him in the first place.....I had no patience for his passive aggressive ways before we got married & it only got worse & I hid away in my degree & in my career until I no longer had that.....then I fell apart because I no longer had an escape until my mother died & I ended up with my "only child" inheritance.....& I split as quick as I possibly could after trying to recover from the trauma I went through with the home care person & my mother's situation.

I actually hadn't planned my escape but it turned into that & what a blessing that has been...I knew I was miserable & I knew I kept wanting a divorce.....I just didn't realize how bad it really was until I left.

Doing a divorce from 2100 miles away isn't the easiest thing & yet the best. He says he wants the divorce & yet every time I put down the information I need, he ignores it......so this time....I will just tell my lawyer to go with what I want & screw him if he doesn't like it TOUGH!!!! I have given him enough chances to communicate.....& now enough is enough. Just wish I had enough money to go get some of my things that I left there....including some of MY FURNITURE......but mostly, I need to make sure I am financially FREE from his irresponsible financial issues.