I can relate to everything I have major depression,PTSD,PCS,Major panic and anxiety.I refused medication for a year until I got all my diagnosis.Before I got all the diagnosis all I did was read self-help books and my body was going into muscle spasms all over upper body and face.My neurologist told me "do you want to stay alive"?I said yes then he said get to a psychiatrist and a psychologist ASAP.I did and my psychiatrist got me my 2 meds on first try.I take an antidepressant low dosage and a medication for anxiety/panic.It has saved my life!I never took anything like these medications so I was against it until I surrendered to survival.I still have a few bad moments in a week but I keep pushing threw.It is nowhere near how I was before.I agree with Jolisse that you might want to try to take medication into consideration.And there is a great book I recommend called "You Can Heal Your Life" By Louise L.Hay.I also go to acupuncture that has helped with happy moods.If you can find a acupuncturist that offers "community works" it is cheap and worth the try.I wish you the best and please consider alternatives to help you.