It really sounds like you've got such a complicated situation, Your husband seems to be in incredible pain; pain that severe can affect other parts of his well being, as you've experienced.

It also sounds like you've been struggling with your own emotions about the situation as he goes through it. I can only imagine what it's like to be with someone who has daily pain. You're caring for him, but you also need to care for yourself.

Happy to be a shoulder or lend an ear if you'd like.