]Even though I know it is not healthy, I am someone who holds onto every big and little hurt from my entire life and relives them often. I've been told many times to just let it go, but I don't understand how to do that. Its as if by letting it go, I'm agreeing that the other people were right. That the mistreatment was warranted. as long as i hold onto it, I am asserting that I deserved better. Does anyone else think like this? How did you get past it to be actually able to let things go?[/quote]

Charter for Compassion

ReddSN

‘Gratitude & Compassion unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more.
...It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.’
~Anon
[Submitted by Margaret Stine]

Compassion and Gratitude opens our heart and mind allowing us to see the truth. From trauma we gain truthful insight, empathy, and empowerment.
It is a teacher of Forgiveness. First to get past your past move your emotional mindset and see things clearly. Surely you were hurt and mistreated and this is the truth. Surely the people who did these things were wrong and you did not deserve this. Believe this and accept this as the truth.
You said Its as if by letting it go, I'm agreeing that the other people were right. That the mistreatment was warranted. as long as i hold onto it, I am asserting that I deserved better. I held this attitude for along time.
Compassion for self
Untill I understood how unhealthy, sufficating, and repressing this attitude was effecting me. My mind was in a comparative/combative right or wrong fight mode
and all this negative energy drained me of the beautiful life I deserved.

How did you get past it to be actually able to let things go?

I'm not sure if the term " get over the past and letting things go" sets the stage for healing from the past or permits releasing of your old self/ways and allowing you to be free from past traumas.
The power of those words can trigger opposition and are usually coming from a person who does not understand the depth of your pain.
Healing begins from within, have compassion/empathy for all the pain you have been through & holding on to. You are worthy of a life filled with joy, You have the courage of a lion, and Your devotion to the truth outshines the darknest corners of your mind.
Take some private time to reflect, reframe, and transform. Be patient and reach out to others and share your story because You helped me today.
I hope my words helped you. " Gratitude "
Sincerely,
H.