You know what even crazier.....my grandmother is now dying ...hospice came today....she is my fathers mother....who he lived with when he committed suiscide and now she will be going to heaven any time now.....luckily she has dementia and really didnt understand what happned to my father, at least thats what we think...idk...she might be just letting go cause he died in the room right across from her....idk my father loved his mother and watching her die might of been one of the many triggers ...but again idk...i feel so bad for my Uncle who lives their as well, watching all his relatives die right in a matter for weeks of one another....i feel so bad for him...Im on stand bye when she goes I have to go up there to his house and stay a few days with him, make sure he dont do what my father did, idk if i could handle that right now...death is crazy mother ****er.....sorry for cussing but this is some crazy *** stuff