Thank you everyone.

I did go to the doc today and he gave me some meds. In a way I'm excited to try them because I want to feel better so badly. On the other hand I'm terrified. I've had bad side effects on ssri before, and I dont want to go through that again. I also know it will get even worse before better and the medication takes a long time to be effective. Maybe I'm better off sticking it out if its just going to make me sick and worse for a while.