I was feeling pretty bad the other night and very off-balance. Thank you for helping me to remember my faith. I haven't slept much since the sleep lab - can't. My bulemia has also returned with a vengance.
Please forgive me if this over steps the bounds of the board but I just need to say this.

Sometimes I fall prey to bitterness.
Simply put, I believe that we do agree to our life as it exists on Earth with God prior to being born - though our life will be tempered by our own free agency or will to chose.
I believe that my own life has been touched by so much abuse and such... so that I have the "tools" to help other people. And that is why I agreed to it with God.

I also have forgiven the people that abused me, not for just the childhood abuse but for what is even the tougher part - the impact that they(the abusers) had on my future life.

I looked into my heart and asked myself, if I really wanted to be the judge of another human being and the answer was "no". God is the judge.

For a very long time, it bothered me a great deal when I would ask a minister or bishop, can a peodfile that has destroyed so many lives get into heaven if they have asked for forgiveness. The answer was always "yes".

I've gotten to the point that I want that person to have that opportunity if they are truly contrite and ask for forgiveness.

Please pray for me that the bulemia will be less, that I can sleep and that they can get my asthma and sleep apena under control.

Next month when I have the lung biopsy - please pray for God's will to be done.

Thank you