Today I feel like I'm just annoying a few of my friends. I've got my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow and I am nervous about it - I know that when I'm talking about it I don't SOUND all that nervous... but I'm freaking terrified of it and I've been not wanting to have one of these for over a decade. It is a really really huge deal to me.

Here in this town I've got 4 friends really who are fully aware of this. 1 I don't really talk to or see without the other 2, 1 whom I work with, and the other 2 I talk to frequently. The one from work is awesome and supportive. But my other two close friends? One of them just sort of seems dismissive of me messaging - I think she's tired today but it's still just felt really dismissive.

And the other one, the one who is ON anti-depressants/anxiety stuff... just said "It's not going to kill you!".... and I'm feeling utterly crushed. I've been in a GREAT mood all day and that one line has just made me feel like breaking down into tears. I KNOW it's not going to kill me... but I'm still terrified. I didn't even say that, all I'd said was that the date got changed so it's tomorrow instead of the 25th and that I'm dreading it!



AND just now, I'd said "I know that" back... and she just told me to quit whining about it!

:'(