I'm clearly not as good as Adam K when it comes to advice giving, but I try to tell things like it is.

Maybe it's because I began sexual exploration at an early age, but you seem to be way too old to be just beginning to figure things out. At 17 most guys have already had sex, and yet you are feel guilty and are almost afraid to even touch yourself. You don't allow yourself the freedom to enjoy masturbating or watching porn and for reasons you haven't clarified, you punish yourself when you do enjoy yourself. You act like you are the only person who does this, but the truth is most guys masturbate and watch porn on a daily basis and it is considered normal behavior. Your problem is not an addiction, it's purely an irrational fear of being abnormal. Once you realize that you are just like everybody else who masturbates, you won't feel so alienated.